The road back home...

It was a beautiful autumn evening in his adopted city. 

Vinay walked through the endless green lanes of the northern sectors, bathed in a golden sunlight. He was heading towards the lake that reminded him so much of the Dal that had marked his family outings in childhood. He appreciated Chandigarh for the thoughtfully planted trees that were currently adorned in yellow and orange and his thoughts went to the Chinar trees of his native land that shed leaves gracefully, covering the streets in a veritable carpet of pastel shades.

He was thankful that after fleeing from their ancestral home almost two decades ago, his parents had settled here and not in a bigger metro. Coming from the town of Anantnag, about 50 Kms from the capital city of Srinagar, he had felt more at home here than in the refugee camps of Jammu or the bustling streets of Delhi. Despite being the capital of two states, Chandigarh still retained a rustic charm largely because of the greenery that was diligently maintained by a veritable army of gardeners.

He had vivid memories from his life in Anantnag and remembered the giddy trips to the main city for boating in the Shikaras at Dal Lake. As he crossed the road to walk towards his destination, he could see similar boats in the Sukhna Lake now, courtesy the tourism department.

A sudden cool breeze rustled through the trees, making him smile as he remembered the way his family huddled together in winters with their Kangris tucked under the Pherans.

It had helped that when they had moved to Chandigarh in winters, he had for the first time seen women outside of Kashmir wearing those quintessential Kashmiri overcoats. He had understood later that it had been a passing fad for the women of this city but for that short time when his family was looking for a new home to set roots in, he had found that temporary fashion a reassuring sign that they had found a place they could call home.

His parents, like most other Kashmiri pandits, had managed to find decent jobs because of their traditionally good educational backgrounds and had raised him well enough to turn him into the marketing head at a leading pharmaceutical company.

The sun was moving towards the horizon as he started his jog along the perimeter of the lake. In the far distance he could see the white spire of the Mansa Devi Temple, that for some reason, always reminded him of the ruins of the Martand Temple in Anantnag. He himself was surprised at how a random small thing could rekindle a long-forgotten memory of Kashmir in his mind. Even though he had found some solace in his adopted city, perhaps his home had never left his heart.

He shrugged his head and flexed his arms and legs to warm up for the run that lay ahead of him. For a short while he would tune out all the past memories and focus on his daily routine as he put on his favorite Enrique song and allowed its rhythm to set the pace for his run. He spotted some other regulars and waved and nodded at the few he was friendly with, but did not stop for conversation. He was in a mood to ruminate and wanted to stay away from all small talk...

His wife Maya and him had been having troubles in their relationship and things had come to a head this afternoon. He had walked out in the middle of a heated argument to run to his favorite spot in the city and clear his head before he went back home with the final decision about where they were headed.

Like him, Maya's family was also from Kashmir and had moved to Chandigarh in the aftermath of the ethnic cleansing of the valley. Their parents had fixed their match with the hope that it would help retain some Kashmiri essence within the family.

Both him and Maya had given in to the wishes of their parents, but over the years, they had realized that they were two completely different people. It seemed to Vinay that even though they had devoted themselves completely to their marriage, there was something that had remained missing throughout this time. Over the past ten years they had raised a son and a daughter, and were too far gone into the marriage to do anything about it. But this afternoon, when the kids were still at school and his parents having a siesta, Vinay had come home early and managed to have a heart-to-heart talk with Maya.

For the first time in years they had sat down and spoken honestly about how each of them had let down the other. It was perhaps time for them to call it quits and they would need to figure out the next steps keeping in mind their parent's disappointment and of course the future of their children. He came to the end of the track that spanned a few kilometers and turned around, slowing down a little to let his body start cooling before he walked back home.

Returning to his original walking pace, he passed the gaggle of geese that were creating the usual ruckus as they were herded back into the pen that served as their home for the night. He spotted two of them locked in a sort of a verbal spat and he smiled at the apparent similarity between them and how he and Maya had been with each other over the past few years.

The thought that his life was not very different from that of these birds crossed his mind too. The geese swam in the lake all day and occasionally interacted with the visitors who threw food at them from the promenade but now that night had come, it was time for them to return to the confines of their artificial homes. Vinay spent the whole day at work wallowing in the waters of pharmaceutical marketing, occasionally interacting with a few prominent customers, but as night fell, he had to return to the restrictions and confines of his marital life.

Yes their marriage had provided security but since some time now, it had started feeling like a cage. The conversation with Maya had given him a lot to think about and the physical activity had helped him take the decision that would hopefully change both their lives for the better. He walked back briskly with a determined step, feeling lighter than he had in a while.

For years they had struggled in their own ways, each dealing with the trauma of their childhood, the insecurities of fitting into a new society, and burdened by the aspirations of their parents. Their relationship had been built on others' expectations but today, he felt as if a massive weight had been lifted off his chest and after years of indecision he finally knew how he was going to shape up the rest of his life..

He reached home and asked his mother to make a cup of steaming hot Kahwa to keep her busy in the kitchen. His father was watching the news about a terrorist attack in their hometown of Anantnag and shaking his head, as if reliving the past. The kids were busy with homework in the study. Maya sat alone in their bedroom, still thinking of their conversation and he had a feeling that she felt disappointed by the way it had gone south.

He quietly walked behind her and for the first time in years, hugged her of his own volition. She was startled by this intimate gesture after the hostility of their talks and turned to look at him quizzically. When Vinay had come home early to speak to her she had been happy that they could finally have an honest discussion about their expectations from each other. She had welcomed it as a new beginning but had been sorely disappointed by the way he had reacted and stormed off.

Vinay looked at her moist eyes and said the words he had been meaning to since his walk back home, "I am not going to give up on us so easily Maya! We got into this relationship because of society and our parents and then sustained it because of our kids. But now, we shall make it work for our own sakes and give each other all that we have held back all these years."

A single tear escaped Maya's eye as she nodded in silence. It was true that they had many differences but those weren't insurmountable if both of them put their heart into the relationship. They had spent a decade together and knew each other's pet peeves and this time, instead of highlighting each others' faults, they would build up on each others' positives.

She was ready to give it another honest shot and was surprised, yet relieved, that Vinay had decided to do the same. She hugged him back fiercely and let a few more tears escape from her tired eyes. After years of struggling through life harboring the feeling of not really belonging anywhere, her husband seemed to have finally found his way back home...

About the author:

Vineet Aggarwal is referred by many as a doctor by qualification, manager by profession and artist by temperament. He lives and works in Mumbai and is the author of popular online blogs dealing with scientific aspects of mythology as well as three books on mythological fiction.

Blogs: DECODE HINDU MYTHOLOGY - http://decodehindumythology.blogspot.com/

FRATERNITY AGAINST TERRORISM & EXTREMISM - http://fateinurhands.blogspot.in/

Books: VISHWAMITRA - http://amzn.to/1hMpa2C

THE LEGEND OF PARSHU-RAAM - http://amzn.to/2qIzw8S

BHARAT - THE MAN WHO BUILT A NATION - https://amzn.to/2BZTDYU